The Dastardly Living Really Well Revenge Plot

Snidely And The Train

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Summary of the plot thus far (to save you having to read my previous post The Hail Mary Module): Blothello (that’s me) in Act II Scene I of the opera, rolls up her sleeves and decides to get revenge on the quintessential bad guy, Snidero, by living really well. Now you’re caught up, we can move on …

Here I am, like the bad guy in an old cartoon (the bad guy’s name being, if I am correct, Snidely … and yes, I’ve switched from opera to old cartoons – I am flexible in that way) twirling his moustachios and about to lay a maiden across the tracks in front of an oncoming train, laughing wickedly as he does it.

I never got that, by the way. The moustachioed bad guy finds a beautiful young maiden and all he can think of to do with her is let a train run over her. Mind you, I don’t suppose he’s the kind to settle for a white picket fence and a rose garden, with the little woman aproned and cooking in the kitchen, and a flock of “Mini-Me’s” tripping him up. Like Gru, in Despicable Me, it tends to ruin the bad guy image and it can lead to all kinds of anti-bad guy behaviour such as singing lullabies, and playing peek-a-boo in a manner as to totally topple the whole bad guy mojo in the eyes of the general public. But still, and I am referring to the maiden again now, it seems kind of wasteful to me. There aren’t that many beautiful young maidens in the world that bad guys can afford to go around disposing of them willy nilly.

Now before you, gentle reader, get up in arms about my comments, let me emphasise that I am talking about the nature of bad guys, a “from his perspective”, if you will. It is well noted that from the maiden’s point of view being squished by a train would probably be preferable to anything else the ugly bad man could have lined up for her. But, as I say, these comments are more of a disquisition about the boring and unimaginative, and yet mind bendingly scary, nature of bad guys and why they do what they do.

Blothello’s Train Gets Diverted To A Siding

Here I am, as I say, sans maiden, sans even a train, about to get my Revenge. My “train” is the dastardly evil yet cunning plot of Living Really Well. Now here’s the thing: I’m not too sure how to accomplish it. Truly, I think my problem might be that I just don’t have the heart of a bad guy; and although, granted, as I get older I find myself more inclined towards growing those moustachios I have yet to find within me any desire at all to twirl them, no matter how hard I search for the inspiration. So here’s what I think it is: I think it’s the nature of the Plotted Revenge that’s letting me down. I’m finding there is a bit of a conflict present and it is tripping me up.

As mentioned in my previous post, written in my version of computer nerd-speak, I’m still experiencing the desire to rearrange Snidero’s bits with Voodoo Attack Trojans. I’m not over this yet, but I will consider it a huge step forward in personal growth when I am, and thus well on the way towards installing the Living Really Well System Management software. I can definitely relate to the whole Revenge mojo. I’m there. But if the truth be told, I think I’m a bit of a softie. Knowing how much my Living Really Well Revenge Plot will cause Snidero to gnash his teeth, my heart bleeds for him. I cannot enjoy my Living Really Well Revenge if it is going to cause such pain. It’s just too … too … Revenge-like. It’s just too mean.

So I’ve had an idea, and it’s a corker. I’m going to separate the idea of Revenge from the idea of Living Really Well. Revenge, well that’s letting down tyres, or writing on the wall of the loo that a better name for Snidero would be “Dr Evil” (because of his obsession with “Mini Me”, though perhaps “Teensy Me” would be more descriptive and this is Revenge after all), and that he is unfit for human consumption until he has had that shot of penicillin. Now that’s Revenge, and in the case of the last two points it also has the merit – if anecdotal evidence is to be believed – of being the Truth. The word is father of the deed, and now it’s on my Action/To-Do List.

The Living Really Well part. That’s just for me. Why? Because I deserve it.

Namaste _/\_ ✨

Postscript: I have realised an urgent need to clarify. As Snidero would be delighted for people to take what could only be termed an extemporaneous view of his need for penicillin, I would like to specify that said penicillin is for the on going and perpetual sinus infection that any time spent in Snidero’s vicinity will convince the bystander is most urgently required. Just saying.

Again, and even though in light of this post it is not really fitting …

Namaste _/\_ ✨ ʘ͜͡ʘ

Copyright © Faith White 2015 

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